For all my soon-to-be brides out there, this week’s blog post will highlight some areas of family drama that have come up and a few tips on how to let go of this heavy burden on your wedding day.
Let’s be real, wedding planning is not easy. There can be so much on your to do list. Tons of opinions from your mom, maybe from your future hubby’s mom — maybe even that great aunt that you talk to at Thanksgiving. I’ve seen my fair share of wedding day drama go down. I’ve heard the ‘negative nancies’ or overbearing parent getting in the way, and listened to my wonderful brides breaking down over some of these small, yet monumental, dramatic situations.
Should We Elope or Not Elope?
Planning an elopement could be the perfect answer to your fear of public speaking, or a super special way to live out you and your partner’s most intimate, romantic fantasies.
Um, yes please! If your budget is a major factor, and it usually is, eloping with a smaller to null ceremony may be the right option for you. I’ve even seen couples have an elopement photoshoot after their big day, just so they could dress up all fancy pants and relive a few more whimsical moments just for them.
There are a zillion ways to plan your wedding day, but when it comes down to it, pick what is best for you and your partner. If you or your partner aren’t a fan of shouting your love to the heavens for all to hear, you don’t have to. If you are more introverted and prefer a smaller crowd, perhaps keeping your ceremony to twenty people or under is best for you.
Should We Include Kids or Not?
Yikes, this is a tough one. Perhaps your menu is not kid friendly, or your budget is already spiking beyond your realistic goals, you are worried about little Jimmy running around the reception during your first dance… yeah, adding younger guests to your list may not be best for you. The atmosphere and inclusive vibe of your ceremony and reflection need to reflect your values.
The best way to deal with this potential elephant in the room is to clearly communicate your choice with your guest list and family members as soon as you can. Include a formal note in your save the date, add your reasoning into the frequently asked questions page on your wedding website, and lastly, ask your wedding planner to coach you through some of the best ways to nicely break the news to Aunt Debbie.
Do We Choose Traditional or Go Non-Traditional?
This is a loaded question as “traditional” reads differently for every couple. With lace details to reflect your grandmother’s era, to maintaining a religion focused ceremony and officiant, to whether or not you include a certain amount of bridesmaids— it is up to you to make this choice for yourself. All of the above can be hand picked by you and how much you’d of your family tradition or ‘wedding traditions’ to incorporate into the day. I’ll say it again, it is also going to reflect your budget as well, which is usually the easiest deciding factor for a big YES or NO.
Remember m’dear, when all is said and done, this is you and your love’s wedding day. It is up to you to handle these major stressors that are flying at you like a pro curveball at 100 miles per hour. Your mental health is important and your relationship with your partner is what really matters.
This is about you, staying calm, remaining grounded in a crisis, and communicating what you need and expect from your family support system. Use your wedding planner as a sounding board, coach, and buffer if needed. Don’t let your beloved family members – or extended fam jam – bring you down. Protect your values and your wedding day with all your heart and do what you feel is right when it comes to these tricky situations.
XOXO,
EB
